By the Fire

On Friday morning, the Blight siblings packed their skis and poles and boots and helmets and jackets and gloves and all the other accoutrements and a weekend’s worth of luggage and an artsy new camera (Edric’s) into the trunk of the sedan (Emira’s); they left straight from school, stopping briefly to pick up Luz (Amity’s) before hitting the road.

She was already waiting for them at the curb by her home, a duffel bag and backpack at her feet. Amity climbed out and all but jumped into Luz’s arms, kissing her deep and hungry, like this was the last chance she’d ever get.

Luz’s eyes widened, but she kissed Amity back, making utterly adorable noises of surprise and delight. She laughed a little when Amity finally pulled away for breath.

“What happened to ‘behind closed doors only’?”

“I don’t care,” Amity said, staring into her girlfriend’s eyes. “I missed you.”

Luz grinned teasingly. “It’s only been a week, you know. That’s pretty fucking—mm,” she said as Amity attempted to shut her up with another kiss. “Gay! Pretty fucking gay.”

Their public makeout session—which, okay, yeah, Amity did feel a little weird about that, just not enough to stop—was interrupted by a voice from within Luz’s house.

“Mija? Is that them?”

“Crap,” Luz said. “One sec.” In the general direction of the house, she shouted: “Yes! Adios, te quiero, que tengas un buen fin de semana!”

“Espere!”

Luz grimaced right as the front door opened and her mom rushed out, looking harried. She submitted to a hug with a “Bye, love you.”

Camila gave Amity a quick, tight smile—Amity nodded to her, feeling extremely awkward—then went back inside. “Llámame esta noche,” she called over her shoulder. “Be safe!”

Luz nodded in the direction of the car. “Shall we?”

Amity opened the door to find both of her siblings beaming at her.

“You two are adorable,” cooed Emira, “you know that?”

Amity scowled. “I’m going to murder you with my thumbs.”

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing you’ve done to us,” said Edric under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear.

Amity blinked, surprised. Was he really still upset about the party? That had been months ago; whatever punishments the twins had incurred as a result of Amity’s ratting them out were probably long done. Besides, they knew she had to maintain her reputation as the good, obedient child—they shouldn’t have told her about it in the first place.

Emira elbowed Ed in the ribs, then gave Amity an apologetic—if strained—smile.

The skis jutted awkwardly from the trunk into the back row of seats. Making enough room for two people required some finagling, and in the end, it seemed the only solution was to run them down the center—preventing Amity and Luz from sitting right next to each other.

“Save room for ski-sus,” Luz muttered, which prompted a barking laugh from Ed.

Amity resented the separation. After a week spent missing her girlfriend—five straight days of skipping sleep to get all her homework and extracurricular responsibilities out of the way—she longed to cuddle up against Luz and never leave her side. But at least they flirted silently with each other, nonstop, for like an hour. They snuck glances at each other from across the seats, blew kisses when they happened to meet each other’s eyes—which was, of course, all the time. At one point Amity stuck her tongue out at Luz, to which Luz escalated with a series of ridiculous faces. It was the exact brand of stupid that Amity had fallen for, and as the ride progressed, she could feel something warm and tender growing inside her.

Yeah, she thought, I really missed this.

Luz and Edric also made occasional small talk, while Emira—newly licensed—kept her eyes fixed on the road, her knuckles white around the wheel. The traffic was dense, and they were still two state borders away from the lodge when Luz said something that took Amity aback.

“So what’s this mountain like? Will there be lots of jumps and half-pipes and stuff, or is it more of a darting-through-the-trees kind of deal?”

“Luz,” Amity said carefully, “this is your first time skiing, right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

Amity opened her mouth, but she couldn’t bear to dampen her girlfriend’s bright-eyed enthusiasm. Instead, she reached to squeeze Luz’s hand. “Let’s just take it slow, okay?”

Luz looked incredulous as she intertwined her fingers with Amity’s. “It can’t be that hard, can it? You just point yourself downhill and use the poles to go faster.”

From the front seat, Edric made a choked noise of barely suppressed laughter. “Yep. You nailed it.”

Amity shot him a glare that he didn’t even have the decency to turn around and see. To Luz she said, “It’s more complicated than that. The most important thing is learning how to turn—you’ll probably spend the whole day just practicing that. Control matters a lot more than speed, or you’ll end up hurting yourself.”

Luz looked surprised, and Amity resisted the urge to bite her tongue in guilt.

“Sorry,” she said quickly. “I kind of forgot how boring it can be for beginners. Well, I mean, it’s still fun! Just not, like, really exciting like you were probably imagining. We don’t have to go skiing, if you don’t want to! We can do other things.”

Luz regarded Amity for a fraction of a second, then raised her eyebrow.

Amity’s cheeks went flush. God, she’d dug her own grave on that one; Luz would never pass up an opportunity to tease her about sex. Good thing neither of the twins seemed to have noticed the exchange, or she’d probably have died of embarrassment.

Amity worked her tongue, and finally managed to mumble, “…like drinking hot coco and cuddling by the fire and stuff.”

Luz glanced briefly around at the slow-moving traffic. She unfastened her seat belt and wiggled her way under the skis—which took about twenty seconds—before finally emerging to squish herself into place beside Amity. She pecked Amity on the cheek—then planted another kiss on her collarbone, lingering for the span of a heartbeat.

“That sounds fun,” Luz said, sounding perfectly innocent—and looking, for all the mischief in her eyes, like a professional temptress.

Desire pooled in Amity’s gut. She inhaled sharp and let it stay, cherishing the feeling of her girlfriend’s body pressed against her own.

“Don’t listen to her, Luz,” Edric piped up. “We’ll take you down Devil’s Bluff for some real skiing—won’t we, Em?”

“Driving,” Emira said without looking up from the road.

Amity flushed again, this time in anger. “Are you trying to get her killed?”

“Hey, hey.” Luz squeezed her hand and fixed her—from about an inch away—with an utterly earnest gaze. “Don’t worry. I won’t do anything without your permission, promise.”

Some of the weight lifted from Amity’s shoulders; that warm, tender feeling returned in full force.

“Kinky,” Ed coughed into his sleeve.

Amity kneed the back of his seat, hard, but he just laughed.

Things were quiet for a while after that. The interstate branched off into a narrower, less crowded road that wound through the mountains. Snow-tipped rocky crags rose up to their right, and wide chasms to their left, silhouetted with trees. Amity had encountered the exact scene a dozen times already on previous trips to the lodge—but Luz looked captivated.

“Enjoying the view?” Amity asked in a low voice, then kissed the tip of her ear.

Luz didn’t even look at her; she kept staring out the far window at the forested valley. “I feel so small,” she whispered. “How far away are we from civilization right now?”

“Well,” Amity said, “given that we’re on a paved road—”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

“…inside a car—” Amity continued, just as Luz’s mouth met hers.

The kiss lasted ten, maybe fifteen seconds. Amity put her hand on Luz’s face, then wound her fingers into Luz’s hair, just above the back of her neck.

“Don’t be a smartass,” Luz said.

“Why?” Amity asked with a grin. “’Cause that’s your job?”

Emira sighed. Loudly. “Get a room, you two.”

They had a room. That was the wonderful, scary thing about this trip. The Blight winter lodge had four bedrooms—more than enough privacy for Amity and Luz to…spend the night together. They hadn’t talked about it, really, but it was the perfect opportunity.

It was dark when they poured out of the sedan, no moon or stars. Amity couldn’t see her breath, but she knew it was fogging. Or maybe crystallizing. Luz shivered theatrically when they got inside; without a second thought, Amity brought her to one of the parlor’s oversized armchairs, and they huddled together under a blanket as they waited for the heat to kick in. Emira tinkered with the electric fireplace but gave up after a few fruitless minutes.

Luz called her mom, and although Amity could only understand a fraction of what she said, something deep and jagged twisted inside her at the ease, the truthfulness, with which Luz spoke.

Ed had boasted of his culinary skills on the drive up, but it was getting late, the kitchen was empty, and everyone was hungry and tired. So they ordered a pizza.

Amity beheld her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her finger traced the line of her cheekbone and jaw, then her hand trailed down to her chest, where it flattened the fabric of her nightshirt. She rotated her torso, examining the slight swell of her breasts. They’d grown a little since the last time…right?

Hands shaking slightly, she splashed cold water on her face. Why on Earth was she so nervous? They’d had sex before. Once. Or twice, depending on what exactly counted.

Perhaps…well, those encounters had been quick and frantic, in the pseudo-privacy of Luz’s home, where Camila’s unpredictable schedule could have interrupted them at any second. Tonight could be different. Would be different. An uninterrupted night, to take as much time as they wanted—

A banging noise caused Amity to jump.

“Mittens?” Emira called. “You almost done?”

Amity exhaled, mildly embarrassed. “Use the other bathroom!”

“Can’t. Ed’s in there.” After a moment she added, “Hurry up, alright? I drank way too much soda.”

In truth, Amity had been done for a few minutes. She marched out of the bathroom, feigning indignation to hide her nerves.

At the door to her bedroom, she paused. The light was on: Luz was already in there. Amity took a deep breath and opened the door—and found her girlfriend lying motionless under the sheets.

“Luz?”

The response came a few seconds later in the form of a snore.

Ah.

Amity shut the door behind her as quietly as possible, changed into her PJ’s, and crawled under the covers.

Apparently she wasn’t careful enough, because Luz twisted and inhaled sharply. “Am’ty?” she muttered in a half-awake drawl.

Amity had seen Luz sleepy before, but she had never watched her wake up. It caught her off guard, melted her heart into a gooey, affectionate mess.

Seconds later, Luz—still with her eyes closed—stretched out her arms, one toward the ceiling and the other toward Amity. What was she…oh.

Amity flicked off the light. Hesitantly, she scooted closer to Luz. And she found herself wrapped in a hug by her not-quite-conscious girlfriend. Luz hummed happily into her chest.

This…

This was unexpected.

And very, very good.

Skiing was, in fact, much less epic than Luz had imagined—but it was still way better than Amity’s cautioning had made it sound. First of all, her boots had so many buckles and bolts and straps and screws that she felt like a cyborg. And although they were tight and uncomfortable and sounded like the footsteps of a drunken horse, they did make it surprisingly easy to stand on tiptoes.

“Check it out!” Luz said, drawing Amity’s attention away from putting on her own boots. She was leaning forward at an almost perfect forty-five-degree angle, wobbling only slightly.

Luz knew that Amity considered herself a reserved person—but sometimes, she was really easy to read. Her expression right now said I’m so fucking in love with you and You’re an idiot and Why am I so fucking in love with you?

Luz grinned and winked at her, because she just couldn’t resist. Then she tripped and bashed her head against the wall.

As for the skiing itself, Luz stayed with Amity on a trail that the others called “the kiddie slope.” The twins teased her about it before going off on their own, but the joke was on them—children were cool and diminutives were cooler and the kiddie slope, as it turned out, was difficult enough.

Amity demonstrated everything: how to step into her skis, to shuffle-walk into line, onto the conveyor belt that carried them up the hill, to get off the conveyor belt—

“I’m impressed,” Amity said. “I thought you would’ve fallen by now.”

“Wow. Uncalled for.”

—to lean forward, to bend her knees, to wedge her skis into a V, to turn by shifting her weight, to stop by turning. Luz absorbed the lessons eagerly, only getting a little distracted by how cute Amity looked in her pink ski jacket.

Amity turned into a stop partway down the hill, then called up to Luz, “Ready?”

Luz shuffled forward once, then again, and suddenly she was…flying? Falling? Sledding, sort of. Faster, ever faster, two pink arms outstretched—

She groaned. Pain blossomed in her side, while a chill overtook the half of her face planted in the snow. She could feel, although not see, Amity’s body beneath her.

“Are you okay?” asked Amity, who sounded fine herself.

“Yeah,” Luz said. “Sorry. I forgot to turn.”

“You forgot a few things.”

“I forgot a few things.”

The rest of the afternoon proceeded in much the same manner. Up the belt, down the hill, and Luz never made it all the way without an accident. She at least managed—most of the time—to fall on purpose before she crashed into anyone.

Amity was constructive in her feedback, and doting in her encouragement, which was…nice. But she also did a lot of showing off. She weaved effortlessly around Luz, her turns precise and controlled, her skis parallel (advanced, elegant, sexy) next to Luz’s wedged (novice, blunt, decidedly unsexy). She never fell, she always stopped exactly where she wanted, and she even slid sideways (sideways!) down the slope on purpose for no apparent reason. By the time evening rolled around, Luz—in addition to being bruised and sore just about everywhere—was, in spite of herself, a little frustrated.

A fire burned in the electric hearth. Two empty mugs of cocoa lay on the table by the armchair where Amity sat, a copy of Azura and the Fields of Friendship in one hand, her other arm wrapped around Luz. It was almost a picture-perfect scene. Almost.

Amity gave Luz a squeeze. “You okay?”

Luz’s normal enthusiasm had been muted ever since they’d left the mountain. She seemed distracted, not entirely present. And in response to Amity’s question just now, she made a humming noise that didn’t sound like an obvious yes or no.

“Did you…have fun today?” Amity tried.

Luz nodded. Then she tightened her grip around Amity. “Kinda wanna go to bed.”

“Oh. Okay.”

A moment passed in which neither of them moved.

“Do you…wanna come with me?”

“Oh!” Amity said. “Yes, I—yeah. Definitely. Yes. Please.”

Her heart worked double time as she followed Luz to their room. She braced for a teasing remark when they passed the lounge, but the twins were mercifully preoccupied—Em on her phone, Ed tinkering with his new camera. Emira did glance up when they passed by, but it was in Edric’s direction, as if trying to get his attention.

Luz’s mouth was on her before the door even clicked shut. Amity found herself more or less pinned against the wall while Luz kissed her mouth, her jaw, her neck. She dimly noted that this was not the slow, gentle loving she had envisioned for tonight—not that she particularly cared.

After mere seconds, Luz reached a hand down toward Amity’s crotch—tentatively, and with a little “Mm?” noise, asking for permission. Amity’s heart skipped several beats in a row. She nodded. Luz started massaging Amity’s crotch through the fabric of her pajama pants, while her mouth worked Amity’s neck and collarbone. A shudder seized Amity’s whole body; she already knew that she’d remember this night—this moment—for a long time.

She did her best to match Luz’s vigor. She moved her hands under Luz’s shirt—beginning with her hips, moving steadily upward, until she was running her hands over Luz’s back and shoulders, occasionally tugging at her bra strap. But Luz seemed very keen on what she was doing, and Amity, for the most part, simply let herself be taken.

The downside of hormone therapy: Amity did not get hard nearly as fast as she used to. The upside: Luz worked tirelessly to compensate. It couldn’t have been more than a minute or two since they’d started, and Amity could already feel her erection growing. Luz’s hand gripped it now, tugging in a gentle but persistent rhythm, and then—

And then she stopped suddenly, threw her arms around Amity’s torso, buried her face in Amity’s shoulder. She stayed there, breathing hot and fast, while Amity tried desperately to collect her wits.

I need to…do something, she thought, her brain slow with desire. Return the favor.

But before she could think further, Luz leaned up and whispered into her ear in a saccharine voice, “Undress me?”

Of course Amity complied. Off came Luz’s sweater, off her baggy tee. She fumbled with the bra for a second, but soon Luz stood bare-chested before her. She removed Luz’s sweatpants last of all, and—

Okay. Amity had made, perhaps a month ago, one offhand comment about how she maybe found women’s underwear kind of inherently sexy, and now here was Luz wearing nothing but a form-fitting black pair of the same—even though Amity knew she found boxers more comfortable, and what the fuck, Luz was being so nice to her.

She barely realized that Luz had grabbed a pillow from the bed before she was on her knees, looking up at Amity with a question in her eyes. Do you want this?

“Y-yes,” Amity stammered. As if there were any chance she’d say no.

Luz tugged Amity’s pajama pants down her legs, revealing a pair of panties tight against the bulge of Amity’s still-erect dick. She played with it through the fabric of the underwear—a moment of agonizing bliss—pulled down the panties as well, only just enough, and opened her mouth.

Amity was struck, as Luz’s tongue touched her shaft, by an overwhelming sense of reality. Everything—from the sight of Luz bathed in dim fluorescent, to the smell of Amity’s own sweat, to the wind howling just outside the window—refuted the growing belief that this must be a dream, that she couldn’t possibly be so lucky. As Luz’s head began to bob back and forth, Amity reached a hand toward it; awestruck, however, she only lightly brushed her fingers against Luz’s hair.

Luz worked Amity’s dick pragmatically and efficiently. She alternated between the head and shaft, between her mouth and tongue, varied her rhythm but never stopped, used her hands now and then—and smiled sweetly up at Amity whenever she did so.

Amity inhaled sharply as Luz’s tongue hit a particular nerve. “When did you get so—ah—good at this?”

Luz flashed her another grin, but didn’t say anything else. Instead, she suddenly opened wide, taking as much of Amity as she could, and quickly. Amity felt her tip hit the back of Luz’s throat; pleasure jolted her body, and she had to bite her lip to keep from cumming right then. Luz made a quiet gagging sound, and Amity panicked and pulled away, but Luz didn’t let her: she leaned forward and took it all again. Then Luz—topless in her underwear, on her hands and knees, with Amity’s dick lodged in her throat—looked up at her with big, round, puppy-dog eyes. And that sent Amity over the edge; she closed her eyes and came, the orgasm plateauing for a good five seconds before it finished.

Luz coughed and sputtered for a moment. Then, wiping her mouth, she began to laugh.

If Amity’s whole body hadn’t already been set ablaze, she’d have turned red. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Nothing!” Luz reassured. She stood and collected the pillow. “Sorry. I’m just…feeling accomplished! I wanted to see how fast I could get you off.”

The sense of embarrassment lingered, but Amity pulled Luz into a deep, warm embrace. “You certainly did a good job,” she said. “Seriously, Luz. Holy shit.”

Luz had a cocky grin on her face when she pulled away from the hug. “You get to be good at skiing”—she traced her finger along the neck of Amity’s nightshirt—“I get to be good at this.”

Amity laughed, and Luz kissed her. She took the opportunity to run her fingers through Luz’s hair, then tugged sharply at a fistful of it, yanking Luz away from the kiss. A noise of surprise escaped Luz’s lips, and a blissful, half-lidded expression overtook her face.

“Your turn?” Amity asked. She might’ve been tapped, but she could still have some fun.

Her heart leaped into her mouth when the doorknob turned. At first she thought they’d been discovered—that Luz’s mom had come home without them noticing—but that didn’t make sense—they were in the lodge—then she thought her mom was here—the door swung open—and her last, fleeting thought before the camera flashed was that it was over—all of it—her relationship with Luz—her status in the family—her academic prospects—her social life—her savings—her happiness—gone.

“What the fuck?!”

Luz’s shout drew Amity from her stupor, and she realized what had actually just happened—who was actually standing in the doorway.

“Sorry, Luz, nothing personal,” said Emira.

“Family business.” Edric unlatched something on the side of his camera.

“Our sister needs an incentive”—Emira turned her gaze on Amity, and it went icy—“not to run her mouth so much.”

Amity had no response; her tongue was dry, her stomach sick with shame.

Luz lunged for the twins. Edric yelped and fled, camera held high above his head. The sounds of the scuffle—and Luz’s shouted obscenities—grew distant as Amity sank to the floor. Her hands were shaking again; into them she heaved a single dry sob.